Friday, September 17, 2010

Freedom



Freedom
Jonathan Franzen
Farrar, Straus & Giroux
576 pgs.



I'll Be Honest....



I'm human. In fact I'll be doubly honest and let you know that you are human, too. We're all human. Therefore, we all have faults, feelings, desires, emotions, etc. This is what Freedom, by Jonathan Franzen, is about: how it is to be human. While the book might be best suited for squirrels who, fyi, are not human, it is also suited for us to read since we usually need a reminder how human we really are every hour on the hour. Which works out in a way given that this book is almost 600 pages long, so just imagine how many hours you get to be reminded how human you are over. And over.

Freedom starts off with introducing our main characters, Patty and Walter Berglund followed by their rocker friend, Richard Katz, through the eyes and opinions of two of their neighbors. This reminds the reader (yes, another reminder) how people outside of the main characters are human with the pros and cons and etc. At this point you might feel that this book is essentially a story of boredom. A magnifying glass over a suburban family and how they all differ and yet are all the same. If you are thinking this you are not entirely incorrect. I'm not sure if Franzen chooses this to show how good of a writer he is, because he makes this "boring" story so good. You can't put it down. Truly. However, maybe it's not just his writing. Maybe it's like watching a car wreck (which we all have to admit is hard to turn away from) but you're looking in the mirror instead. If you think about it, maybe that's the fascination behind the Reality TV phenomenon. And don't get me wrong, there is a whole lot more TV than Reality in Reality TV, but we all think of ourselves as the stars in our own show with supporting players. Or maybe you're like me, where I'm the supporting character in my own star vehicle...bah humbug.

Back to the book. It's very well written, but I wouldn't recommend it to everyone. It truly is watching a car wreck, and even worse it's like watching a familiar car wreck. Some of the characters do despicable things...but who doesn't?!? You scream at the characters, "no no! What are you doing??" but right after that your friend told you what he/she did over the weekend and you scream, "no no! What are you doing??" This combined with the very articulate style of Franzen makes you feel like you're watching a movie instead of reading.

So to be honest, if you think you might enjoy the slightly guilty pleasure of watching an ordinary family self-destruct and (maybe) patching things up again, read this book. You will not regret it. One thing I have to mention is that Franzen gets slightly political, but in a rather cartoony way. There is a character that is conservative, but is shown to be extremely conservative (private industry corruption) and then there's a character that is liberal, but is shown to be extremely liberal (raving at neighbors how their cats are endangering songbirds). Finally, there is another character that is so extremely neutral it's laughable. Three extremes do not a spectrum make. Ah well. Also, there are cringe-inducing moments. Everything from drugs to infidelity to children not obeying parents. It is not done to vulgar extremes, but it's there nonetheless. Go read Freedom and bask in the glory of being human. Just avoid the mirrors on your way out.
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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

They Call Me Krud


They Call Me Krud
Christopher Mark Kudela
Xlibris Corporation
286 pgs.





I'll Be Honest...


This will be one of the shortest I'll Be Honest... entries. Ever. This is one of the most abysmal, juvenile, horrendous books I've ever experienced. It's the kind of book where I had to take 3 showers upon completion and immediately jumped online and took a few IQ tests to make sure that my losses weren't as bad as I thought. Oh golly gee willickers...this is Krud.

So the book "They Call Me Krud" is a story narrated by the main character, Krud. Krud is your typical moron who is a drug dealer and womanizer, specializing in all kinds of debauchery. Is he a well-written character? No. Is he one of those love-to-hate characters? Close, you just hate him. He likes to contradict himself constantly, saying how people get what they got coming to them, but then doesn't understand why things happen to him; or he'll be saying how this one woman is so great, and then next moment she'll be the worst person in the world. And it's not written so you think he has multiple personalities or anything. It's pretty clear that it's just bad writing.

He tells the story of his life, how he started dealing drugs at a young age, how he's seen the error of his ways, how he gets back into the crime life, how he sees the error again, how he goes back, and this continues ad nauseum. Krud, who you are stuck with the entire book, is not charismatic or smart. He thinks he is, but yet we're talking about a man who exhibits no intelligence, but then starts quoting latin phrases here and there and outwitting police detectives. How does he know these? Dunno, ask the author. An example: a police detective wants Krud to turn on who is supplying him with drugs. Krud, adhering to moral codes, refuses. The detective threatens Krud and his family. Krud exacts revenge by telling FBI agents that this detective offered to shorten Krud's sentence if Krud would pay up a percentage. The FBI believes this all, without any planning or show of evidence. Why? Because Krud says he's so smart (that and the author can't come up with a suitable plan/plot so you just have to swallow it like a chicken bone and march on).

Even the printing of the book is awful. I feel like the author created the printing company and proceeded to pop out a couple thousand copies in his basement. I have absolutely no idea how this book was printed and distributed. There's even a typo in the dedication!! Who does that?!?

So to be honest, avoid this book. The last book I told you to stay away from, "Next," is The Great Gatsby compared to this drivel. It's the type of book you give to your mortal enemy as a "peace offering" but really it's just a Trojan horse. I hate this book so much that I recommend you go watch a reality TV show marathon (and I don't care, take your pick which show). If you want entertainment, stay away from this book and go chit-chat with the brick wall. While you're at it, tell the brick wall to stay away from this book, too.
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