They Call Me Krud

They Call Me Krud
Christopher Mark Kudela
Xlibris Corporation
286 pgs.





I'll Be Honest...


This will be one of the shortest I'll Be Honest... entries. Ever. This is one of the most abysmal, juvenile, horrendous books I've ever experienced. It's the kind of book where I had to take 3 showers upon completion and immediately jumped online and took a few IQ tests to make sure that my losses weren't as bad as I thought. Oh golly gee willickers...this is Krud.

So the book "They Call Me Krud" is a story narrated by the main character, Krud. Krud is your typical moron who is a drug dealer and womanizer, specializing in all kinds of debauchery. Is he a well-written character? No. Is he one of those love-to-hate characters? Close, you just hate him. He likes to contradict himself constantly, saying how people get what they got coming to them, but then doesn't understand why things happen to him; or he'll be saying how this one woman is so great, and then next moment she'll be the worst person in the world. And it's not written so you think he has multiple personalities or anything. It's pretty clear that it's just bad writing.

He tells the story of his life, how he started dealing drugs at a young age, how he's seen the error of his ways, how he gets back into the crime life, how he sees the error again, how he goes back, and this continues ad nauseum. Krud, who you are stuck with the entire book, is not charismatic or smart. He thinks he is, but yet we're talking about a man who exhibits no intelligence, but then starts quoting latin phrases here and there and outwitting police detectives. How does he know these? Dunno, ask the author. An example: a police detective wants Krud to turn on who is supplying him with drugs. Krud, adhering to moral codes, refuses. The detective threatens Krud and his family. Krud exacts revenge by telling FBI agents that this detective offered to shorten Krud's sentence if Krud would pay up a percentage. The FBI believes this all, without any planning or show of evidence. Why? Because Krud says he's so smart (that and the author can't come up with a suitable plan/plot so you just have to swallow it like a chicken bone and march on).

Even the printing of the book is awful. I feel like the author created the printing company and proceeded to pop out a couple thousand copies in his basement. I have absolutely no idea how this book was printed and distributed. There's even a typo in the dedication!! Who does that?!?

So to be honest, avoid this book. The last book I told you to stay away from, "Next," is The Great Gatsby compared to this drivel. It's the type of book you give to your mortal enemy as a "peace offering" but really it's just a Trojan horse. I hate this book so much that I recommend you go watch a reality TV show marathon (and I don't care, take your pick which show). If you want entertainment, stay away from this book and go chit-chat with the brick wall. While you're at it, tell the brick wall to stay away from this book, too.

They Call Me Krud